I would say that I am settling into my new home, that I am adjusting… but it wouldn’t be true.
It’s not true because from the first morning I woke up here it felt like home. It felt like ME.
On some level, this isn’t a surprise. After all, I have been “floating” between other people’s homes for the past six months, but more significantly I think is the fact that this is the first time in my life that I have chosen the house/dwelling/structure that I call home.
This house is very different from any of the houses that I have lived in while I was growing up, or even as an adult. It’s quite a bit older and a whole lot smaller. In fact, I hosted a community dinner here this past Sunday and the 7 adults in attendance ate dinner with their plates on their laps It might not sound appealing to you, but the character that often comes with an older home and the fact that it isn’t very big are the things that I love most about this house. Old houses also mean old neighbourhoods: big trees and big yards. Lots to love I tell you!
I have always known this about myself too. In fact, a few years ago, Trent and I went looking to buy a house. We stopped in at an open house not far from here, about a block away. It is a little yellow house, not much bigger than the TLC (aka “The Little Cutie” – my nickname for my house). Well let me tell you, it was love at first showing! In that moment I just knew that it was the perfect house for me.
In the end, we decided to go a different direction and we ended up in a brand new, luxuriously big house in a different part of town. It is a lovely house, but it never did feel like home to me. It just didn’t.
What I remember about the conversation around the little yellow house, and also about my decision to move into the TLC, was this: other people didn’t think it was right for me.
Turns out that other people have NO IDEA what is best for me. Only I know that.
Before I published my book FIERCE Integrity with Difference Press, I had submitted it to a publishing house contest (put on by Balboa Press which is the self-publishing house affiliated with Hay House — arguably the biggest self-help publishing house in the world). I knew, I just knew, that it would be selected as a finalist! Inside I had high hopes that it would even win the top prize of a publishing contract with Hay House. Oh yes, this book was going to be my ticket to the stage…
(One of my dreams is to reach a larger audience and travel/speak my message around the world).
Well, that’s not exactly what happened.
My book didn’t even make it as a finalist in the contest.
A had tea with a brilliant friend of mine today (yes you Karie Nothof). She reminded me of a fundamental teaching: “There is no such thing as failure, only feedback”. Tweet that. Write it on your forehead. Put it on your fridge. Really, because it’s a gem. (This is an NLP teaching btw, click here to read more).
The truth is that I wasn’t ready to claim FIERCE Integrity. I wasn’t ready to reach/teach a large audience. When will I be? I don’t know. But I do know that I am not going to stop showing up in this world. I am not going to let other people’s opinions of me/my work define the outcome.
I am not going to let anyone take away my dreams! Consider this an invitation to do the same.
Oh, and because tomorrow is Friday, and Friday’s are funny, this: